I may look fine, but maybe I am not.

I may look torn, but maybe I am not.

I want to be in control of how I feel, but at times I lost the power to my heart.

I taught myself to be selfish, and that I will not be hurt.

I limit myself to the capacity of my love as I only have that much to spare.

I don't yearn for everyone's love, I only care about those whom I care.

That's me.

That's the explanation I gave.

That absurd and insensitive reason of mine.

Can I just stay true to what I've always believed?

A moment of pain, a moment of tears, it's just that moment.

And everything will be back to the way it used to be, people will get use to it.

Without you.

We build relationships with others, thinking that we hold unique and important places in others.

But afterall, you can only affect that someone that much.

You might think too highly of yourself, humans will only remember that important one that little.

The pain, the tears will eventually stop and at that point of time, you are totally lost in this universe.

You are someone's memories, you are a past tense.

You are that someone who was once important, but without you, life still goes on for others and nothing has changed.

Except your existence. 

That insignificant one.

Mind is too full of thoughts and words.

I think I am going to explode.

Everyone has a dark side I suppose? Not all people are kind and good tempered right?

I thought I won't be able to see my dark side ever again, I guess it kind of miss me and so it decided to come and find me.

Humans are so fragile, or maybe I should say it's the relationship that holds two humans.

Lovers can be so into one another at a point of time, but how about when it ends?

The person whom you thought you can live old with, the person whom you thought you loved more than anything else in the world, the person whom you cared so much for, will just end with a perfect stranger.

Or worse, maybe a person whom you hate or hating yourself for being with this person so stupidly before.

My growing up was not exactly very pleasant, but still, here I am.

Not saying that I've been through a lot or suffered like mad, but definitely experienced more than the average goody family kids I guess?

Marriage is just a piece of paper that holds two pathetic souls entangled together.

Then why are people still looking forward to it? I don't get it.

At least that's how I feel since young looking at all the adults around me, suffering from the marriage that they once yearn for.

People from my neighbours whom I always thought was so loving, to my relatives and even my own..

Will I end up turning to the adults whom I grew up seeing?

Or maybe the fairy tales of happily ever after do exist?

But if it exists, it will not be called fairy tales right?

Ironic.

Be grateful of the small little things that makes you smile.

Don't always hope for the best, sometimes good is pretty awesome as well.

Comparison kills all, did you hear that?

Time is passing, world is changing.

But I'm not allowing myself to succumb to the growing up process.

Why do we have to think that by a certain age, you should have accomplish something?

Or by a certain age, you should no longer be doing something?

It's all just numbers, what matters most is your inner self.

What makes you think that every story ends with a,"happily ever after"?

We are simply brain-washed since young.

Live the way you want it to be, not how people think you should be.

You own your own life.