So often, I find that being able to forgive the cheating goes hand in hand with being able to restore the trust. If you're always afraid that you're one day going to be going through this again, you'll never be able to truly trust and open up again and it's very unlikely that forgiveness will naturally just follow.
For this to happen, you will need for your boyfriend to be accountable and to take full responsibility. Many men will resist this. They will think that you're always going to blame them, that you don't and will never trust them, and that they are going to punished in this way for the rest of their lives. And, many will try to downplay or shorten the aftermath of the affair because they just want their lives back and they will think that "working through" the affair is the same as "dwelling on it." To them, prolonging anything about this is bad news. In their perfect world, they'd like for you to forgive and forget almost immediately.
Your job is to make clear that this just isn't possible. In order for you to have what you need to ultimately move on, you are going to need to establish that they are trustworthy and that they know exactly how their actions (which they chose) have affected and hurt you. These things are necessary because they say to you that he isn't going to do this again. So, make it very clear that you're going to need for him to be very open with you about where he is and what he's doing and make no apologies if you, at least at first, are going to need to confirm this.
Over time, as you begin to see that he is actually accountable and doing everything right, you'll eventually no longer need to do this. But, he should have patience while you do.
But is it worth it for all these?
Why do I have to suffer one blow after another?
What did I do to deserve all these from you?
Will things eventually be the same again or even better?
Go with my heart and be irrational and be a self denial?
Who can answer me?
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